Relationship Psychology: How to build relationships in the 21st century?
In a healthy relationship, the importance of each other for both partners is equally high. And if in one of them it decreases, then it also reduces in the other. And the growing significance of one of them steadily increases the importance of the other. It is harmony and mutual, strong love of two psychologically mature people. An ideal relationship is a union of two strong people, independent and mature individuals. They always have a high mutual interest and feedback. This relationship or marriage means a life of love, respect, and shared material goals.
The Beginning of a Relationship
If you have not had anyone for a long time, or if all your previous relationships have been unsuccessful, then you are looking for potential partners on Ladadate or are doing it wrong. First, you need:
- Understand that there is no unique soulmate that you need to find, and only with her, you will have happiness. Or wait for such a partner to find you. There are many people around and, with many of them, you can build a happy relationship if you understand how. If you do not know how to do this, then even the most ideal person in your mind will not make you happy.
- Start looking at yourself realistically. Realize your objective significance for others, so you can filter out those who clearly do not suit you, those whose objective importance is significantly higher or lower than yours.
You have to understand and accept your objective significance. And then you will start to like people who are on the same level as you. And how the relationship starts is another question. Perhaps with a focused search, constant acquaintances, and frequent communication with other people. Maybe relationships will find you on their own — at work, among friends or family.
The crucial thing is that once you start looking at yourself realistically, you accept your current position and can focus on how to get yourself and everyone around you in order and in alignment with it. And then those who match you will begin to notice you. You will understand that they have seen you before — you just looked the other way.
The Secret to Strong Relationships Is Boundaries
Everyone has personal boundaries. And although they are open in serious relationships and marriage, there should not be a complete merger. In the end, each of us remains a separate person.
There should be no desire to spend 24 hours a day with a partner, which means that you do not have your own business, interests, and resources. But many couples live by this principle and become unhappy. And when a breakup occurs, you realize that you have nothing left.
It is impossible and harmful to do everything together. Otherwise, each of you will rapidly degrade. Even if you agree to run together in the morning, sometimes you will have to do it separately. So, why not just embrace the fact that you can have personal space right away? Once you are merged, how can you distinguish your opinion and desire from the opinions and desires of your partner?
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